So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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