i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
