We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
