I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
