Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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