Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
