Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
