what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
