I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
