I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize