You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
