Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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