Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize