I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
