Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
