Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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