its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
