Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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