I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You made out with two different species that night
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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