Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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