was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I could fuck to npr.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
