I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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