I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
im on a boat
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