I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
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