the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
