Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
