those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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