My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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