He uses pillows to masturbate.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
