go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
