: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There's always time for handjobs
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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