Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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