Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
