and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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