i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
