You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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