yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize