i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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