Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
