I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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