Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
