I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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