your room smells of hookers.
And success
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
