I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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