awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
