we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
