Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
A+ Viking dick
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
