All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think people are normalizing furries
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
