Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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