Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
