I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Pooping to opera.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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